Thoughts of Darth Vader
by Chocolate-Angel1
Summary: Enter and you will find yourself lost in the unknown thoughts of Darth Vader during A New Hope. The presence he felt...it was just Obi-Wan...or was it?


Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars, I would be hanging out with Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen, not writing stuff on FF.net  
  
Important Note!: This is set during Episode IV: A New Hope  
  
Please people! Review.for me? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I sense it, I feel it. It is overwhelming soothing. What it is, I cannot say, for I do not know. It is familiar, but distant. I can't put my finger on what it is. But it's here, I know it is.  
  
I feel it strongest when the Princess is close to me. There is something about this Princess that's strange, I have thought so for some time now. Once again, I cannot quite put my finger on it.  
  
Padme, a voice seemed to whisper inside my head. Padme! It seemed to insist. Hidden beneath my mask, my expression was overcome with fury. I violently shook all thoughts of Padme from my mind. That was.before. I won't let myself think about before. But sometimes I can't help it and I will think of her for days on end, perhaps even weeks or months. She is the one thing that I cannot let go of from my life of before. When I was a Jedi, a servant of the light side of the Force.  
  
I find myself suddenly thinking, obviously of something I wish not to. How Princess Leia's chocolate eyes match those of Padme's, the dark, rich, thick hair that seemed to match Padme's. I have to stop; it is too painful to think of her. Padme, I heard the voice once more.  
  
The name resonated in my head for what seemed like hours as I sat there. I was abruptly brought back to reality when the comspeaker reported a ship trapped in the tractor beam.  
  
Angry at myself for letting myself think of Padme, I stalked down the corridors to the hangar bay. As I walked, I found that the sensation I had been feeling had suddenly gotten stronger. Padme! The voices sang inside my head, tormenting me.  
  
I finally reached the hangar bay. I was very interested to find that the ships markings matched that of a ship who had, very abruptly blasted out of a Mos Eisley spaceport on Tatooine.  
  
Tatooine. That name only brought back more memories. Slavery, lying, cheating, scum, the smell of oil, hopelessness, betrayal, worth, loss and the most surprising, love.  
  
Once again, I was interrupted from my thoughts. This time by that presence. It was growing stronger by the minute. It felt very faintly of Padme.  
  
Anyhow, I also sensed another presence. Obi-Wan Kenobi, my Master. My old Master. But what I was focusing on was the feeling of Padme. Was she here? Is she alive? Is she dying? Why does her presence feel so small?  
  
"I sense something", I suddenly heard my deep mechanical voice say, " a presence I've not felt since.."  
  
I couldn't bear to say anymore. I could not show weakness. I am Darth Vader. A Lord of the Sith. I have no weaknesses! But I know that's not true. I have one true weakness, and that I will always have, even after my death. And that weakness is Padme.  
  
Padme. I savor the name with every ounce of my soul. Padme. My true love. My wife. My.Angel.  
  
Forcing myself to stay calm, I focused on finding Obi-Wan. If Padme is here, on the Death Star, then she would most likely be with him. And he was most definitely not on the ship.  
  
I fell into the Force. Light, Dark, it didn't matter. I just have to find her..if she's here. Only to add to my confusion of her, she seemed to be well, I will say scattered for lack of a better word. It seemed as though; she was all through the ship. Separated, to say the least. Then combined, then.Obi-Wan! He was headed for the hangar bay!  
  
I moved as fast as I could through the blast doors when I met with Obi-Wan.  
  
"You should not have come back." I heard a voice say. A voice that didn't seem to belong to me.  
  
Slowly, we each removed our lightsabers and ignited them. For a few sheer seconds we observed one another, and circled. I don't recall who made the first move, but as for who made the last.that I will never forget.  
  
I saw figures running in the corner of my eye, but I was to focused on my duel to pay more attention. Obi-Wan saw them too, he looked over and his eyes became slightly larger. Then he turned me and.smiled. Smiled! Then he just stood there, with his lightsaber deactivated, and I ..I killed him.  
  
It was as if he had sacrificed himself.  
  
Suddenly, at that moment, the sensation of Padme was the strongest I had felt it yet. I looked over and saw a young boy, looking very upset shooting battle droids. Then the Princess told him he had to come.  
  
Then it hit me. Full blast. Like a pod-racer hitting a canyon wall. The boy, sandy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, Princess Leia, her brown hair, eyes and that pale skin. And they both felt very faintly of Padme.  
  
Padme, these were her children.my children. I couldn't believe it. All this time.and I had never known! I felt so angry with myself! How could I have not known, not sensed it through the Force?!  
  
Once in my private chambers, I collapsed onto my sleeping pallet. I would have cried, if I had not been so shocked.and confused.  
  
A few hours later, I found myself on the command bridge of my flagship. I was standing there, Just staring out into space. I had to face the fact. Padme was gone.. forever. She wasn't going to come back. I will never know if she's dead, hiding or if she just disappeared. I'll just have to know she's gone. It reminds me of watching a single feather wafting in the gentle breezes. It gradually goes further and further from you, until it's gone.  
  
Suddenly a figure seemed to appear out in the stars. It was a woman. She had a long flowing gown that seemed to float. She had long, chocolate brown hair, the curls spilling down her back, her brown eyes with their familiar sparkle, her smile so full of warmth and love. All I could do was stare at her.  
  
"Padme!", I whispered to myself. As if she had heard me, she nodded. Her glowing figure flowed close to the window, so that her eyes were even with mine. We stood there for a long time, just standing there looking at each other. Suddenly, in a graceful slow movement she lifted her hand to her lips and blew me a kiss. Then she disappeared. That was the last time I saw her.ever. 


End file.
